The days pass at a fevered pitch. I'm afraid I'll miss something. I feel hot and bothered and so mortal. I wonder how much time is left. I have no time for illness. No time for death.
So I speed down the gravel road. I watch the storm clouds rolling over me. I think of the past. I fishtail. But just a little. I can't make a mistake. Not now.
I have places to go. People to see. Things to do. I am still looking for the answer. I still long to be whole.
6 comments:
Honey- what's going on?
Yes, what's going on? Are you okay?
Oh, yes, well. I guess that was a bit of a heavy entry. First, I have an upper respiratory infection with bronchitis. That can be fixed. I have meds.
But second, I have been watching a suspicious mass under my right arm. It has enlarged and now all the other friendly lymph nodes are swollen and hard, too. The doctor was alarmed enough to schedule a follow-up biopsy after the course of antibiotics for the bronchitis is over. I've been worried about it for a few months. It's so painful, I have trouble putting my arm down.
I have a very real fear of cancer. I just want the lumps and bumps out. I want them over and done.
I would be freaked too but am hoping that since it's painful it's hopefully an infected something or other.
Keep us posted, sugar.
Yeah, the original lumpy bump isn't painful. The new ones (which are probably from the other nasty mess I've got) are. It's the grinding together of both that makes for the pain. J wants to rig up something to keep my arm abducted. I can't wait to see what he comes up with.
Good man, that J.
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