Head Out On The Highway

Good friends up and moved out of town. Way out of town. After years of talking about it they finally did it. From Georgia to Wisconsin in one fell swoop. We all headed over the last night they were in their apartment and those of us who didn't help move furniture, told funny stories, drank beer, ate granola rice cripsy treats and laughed laughed laughed. They will be sorely missed and I hope they ease the pain of their absence by sending us lots of cheese.


And now to set up one of the best stories of the night - A guy is hanging out with friends, drinking and becomes convinced pouring gasoline out of a cup into the top of a chiminea is a good idea:

The "New" Me

Yesterday, I couldn't bring myself to blog. I had, and still have, much to do to prepare for Easter. Easter has lots of "baggage" attached to it for me. Isn't that weird? The holiday all about rising from the ashes has baggage for me? Easter was the first time I met my ex-husband , sixteen years ago. I travelled out to Louisiana with my friend, his sister. She's the one who set us up. She thought we were perfect for one another. In the long run, she was mistaken. 

I was sifting through old photos yesterday and happened upon some copies of my senior picture. The copy to the left is the one I've kept in an album all this time. But the one on the right is the one my ex carried in his wallet all the years we were married. After Joe and I married,my ex husband took this photo out of his wallet and handed it to Joe. He said, "Well, she's yours now." 

I was inside with Logan, readying his things for a visit with his dad and didn't see this hand off but Joe told me about it later. He showed me the photo and I remember thinking, "Yep. Look how worn out and  broken the girl in that photo is..." I asked Joe if he planned to keep the photo in his wallet and he said that he would not. That he thought it would be better to just put it away somewhere. Maybe come back to it later. 

Well, it's been in a box all this time and yesterday, I happened upon it. I held it in my hand. I looked at it intently. And I thought long and hard about it. I don't know if you've noticed but in the post about Logan's birthday, I posted a photo of him, my ex....Larry. His name is Larry. I've never posted a photo or named him here before. I posted that photo and tried to feel the good in it. I've harbored resentment and anger all these years for what I believed was stolen from me. What was it? My youth? My innocence? My idealism? My optimism? My spirit? I don't know how to name it. All I know is that I came out of it different than I was before. I've always thought of our time together as wasted and ugly- a life of dysfunction and abusive tendencies. But it wasn't all wasted and it must have been a lesson meant for me to learn....

Now I choose to see the photo on the right as warmer with much more character than the first. A girl with scratches and scars but still carrying a smile on her face. I daresay she is even more beautiful than the first. 

That's all I have to say about that today.