Well.
Like I said, it wasn't tortuous. It was fun...to a point. We'd planned to have a nice dinner first but it took the other ladies too long to do their hair and make-up. I was completely dressed when I arrived at the hotel but they had to ready themselves. I'm not really into primping. When I fix up, I look nice but I don't concern myself with "stripper hair" or "hooker eyes". I can't remember any of the other beauty choices they discussed but you get my drift, I'm sure.
I like these girls. We've become friends in spite of ourselves. They are different than me. I read Southern Living whereas they read Cosmo. They know things about celebrities and fashion. I tend my squash. It's sometimes challenging for me not to withdraw when I find myself in uncharted waters but these ladies don't take no for an answer.
They do, however, take much too long to get ready. When they were all gussied up, we went ahead to Wild Bill's. The doors opened at 8:30 and we needed to buy tickets. On the drive over, we stopped at a store for a couple of things. While there, we were approached by a news reporter and camera man. They interviewed our friend concerning traffic laws. She did a good job and didn't say "um" too much.
At the club, the band was at the front door. They gave us free tickets. The lead singer was all of four and a half feet tall. He seemed to me to be the shortest rocker ever. I couldn't imagine what we were in for. The place was huge. We settled in for the opening act, Dr. Feelgood, the Motley Crue tribute band. I had a vodka tonic but it wasn't enough for that band. Their sound was almost vile. The only saving grace was the pole dancing cop girls with whips. Unfortunately, the poles weren't nailed down. They were on tires like a tether ball set on a playground. It made for some curious moves but at least it wasn't boring. I had another vodka tonic and went in search of the bull.
There was no bull. I began to panic. There was a mini bar off in the corner with pool tables but Joe wasn't with me and all of those guys were toothless and had neck tattoos. Toothless neck tattooed guys love me. I really don't feel the same about them so I high-tailed it back to the safety of my group. Then I had a cheeseburger and watched a couple of old ladies do the Step Ball Touch line dance. Someone handed me my very first Jello Shot. It was a little plastic cup o' grape burning gelatinous death. Dear God! I made a mental note for the future. I announced my plans to leave and was handed the room key. The other ladies were just settling in to throw down so I wished them luck.
Then the headliners took the stage with their Poison/Journey tribute show. Oddly, they opened with what Joe tells me is a Loverboy song. Oh well. I got this much and then walked outside to catch my very first $10 one minute cab drive. I complained. He told me "it's night, we don't make money at night!" and I thought about telling him where he could stick my "no money" but he had a weird talisman hanging from the rear view and I didn't want to be the proud new owner of a gypsy curse.
I sat on the patio back at the room. It was cool and breezy. It was quiet and I felt as if I was meditating listening to the breeze in the trees and grass. It started to rain so I went inside and read a bit of a book before going to sleep. Sometime after 2am, my drunk and very jovial group of friends arrived. One girl climbed on top of me in bed and rode me like a horse. She'd fallen on the dance floor and had not only soiled the white pants I told her not to wear, but had banged her knee but good. It was discolored and swollen. I told her to get off of me and she did. I went back to sleep. The next morning I awoke to one friend suffering a migraine and the other vomiting in the bathroom. The other two were still asleep and I was fresh as a daisy. I couldn't help but smile.
The days of wanton partying and foolishness are behind me. I've never been one to enjoy the bar scene. I don't dance. I can drink at home. And I'm happily married. What does a bar have to offer me?
I'm glad they all enjoyed themselves. The injury list was actually shorter than I expected. And I enjoyed myself, too. In my own special way.
