Corny

I am proud to announce we harvested 62 spectacular cobs of corn from Sam's one outlaw row. And then there were these guys. I think this is some sort of error in pollination. They were pretty effed up. But they look fun, don't they? Like the life of the party. I need a botanist's opinion though, to be sure.

We made some corn salad, grilled some ears and put the rest in the freezer. Lot's of corn. Sam is very pleased. Has yet to eat any but he's pleased nonetheless.

So, plant some corn. Plant just one long row if you want. Shake it around a little. See what happens.

Children Growing Corn

Have you ever heard you can't grow just one row of corn? I've heard that. I assumed it was due to pollination needs. But how can corn know if it is in one long row or 30 rows of one?

It was Sam's idea to plant it. He saw the seed packet and said, "Oh! Corn! I like corn. It is a vegetable and I will eat it. Let's grow some!" And that's really all it took. I bought it then and there and he and his Paw started preparing the garden bed. We're growing our cukes and tomatoes in barrels down in the "lockdown" area of The Calmpound. (The deer just sail over the fence if they want now.) So we had that bed open for other veggies. Sam said corn so we went with it.

And now we have a lush and bountiful (looking) row of corn! I've since reestablished my internet connection and have some real info regarding sowing, growing and reaping corn. I've learned corn is a member of the grass family (Who knew!?!) and pollinates by wind.  It is better to plant in groups rather than one long row. So, we'll see what happens. It now has groups of silks along the stalks so I think that's promising. Let's hope when all is said and done, we end up with more kernel and less cob.

I wish that for all of us.

More kernel, less cob.

Pansies

83 degrees today. 

The pansies are pissed.

Or possessed.

 

Botanical Anomaly

We embrace all oddities here at The Calmpound so we were very pleased to see the plain old Coneflower doing something different this year.

Seems Mother Nature started thinking out of the box a bit...

I can't get enough of these little anomalous purple blooms!

80 Tomatoes, 1 Orientation & 65 Birthdays

Today is Mom's birthday. She celebrated it by canning lots of tomatoes. I did not help at all with any of the canning process. I did pick eighty more tomatoes and heaped them up with the rest of them. Woohoo! S was very disappointed in the lack of a party and a cake. We promised him we would have a cake this weekend. Z told us she would like a babydoll for her grandmother's birthday. I would like a million dollars.

J brought the kids with him to orientation since I was there in a professional capacity. They both warmed up and were having such a good time, they didn't want to leave. That's good. I am cautiously optimistic about the first day, tomorrow. I have to get up at 5:30 in the morning so I better cut this short and go to bed.

But before I do, I would like to share one more photo with you. S has become obsessed with the show, 'Wipeout'... We watched it last night and they have been "building" obstacle courses ever since. We watched it with them. We never watch TV with them. But we did last night. We couldn't help ourselves. We laughed  like hyenas. I'm afraid we've gone over the edge now.

Is That A Proboscis In Your Pocket?

The flower bed in the front of the house is literally buzzing. Melody reported a cloud of insects exploded from the flower bed when she walked down the walk the other day. The kids are fascinated with all of the bugs. The flowers keep them busy and we stay sting-free while we observe close up. They asked if we could take a video of an orange butterfly they were fond of. It was a Gulf Frittilary and it was so beautiful.

I don't know about you, but I needed a good dose of orange.

Big Buddha and the Tomatocorn

Buddha and the Tomatocorn were getting along nicely until we ate the Tomatocorn. The Green Goddess eggplant is goddess-like. It's such a beautiful plant. The carrots were finally pulled up and even though they are not as big as store-bought carrots, they are very tasty. I can't wait to plant more in the fall!

This morning, the harvest is bountiful at The Calmpound. (Thanks to Mel for the new, upbeat name for our little fenced-in property.) And it's shaping up to be a productive day.

We'll see...

Mums Under Attack

We have an intruder at The Compound. About a month ago, I noticed an orange alien noodle growing along with one of my chrysanthemums. I was quite taken with it. It reminded me of the orange wire on the weed whacker. I sat mesmerized by the leafless orange noodle while visions of visitors from outer space danced before my eyes.

After only a week or so, it was obvious that this thing was not going to just go away. I pulled every bit of it off of the plant. It seemed to be attached to the stem with little sucker projections (insert another incredibly imaginable and creative alien day dream into the mix) and I realized it must be parasitic. It wasn't attached to the ground and that gave me the creeps. Within a week, it had grown back even thicker than before. Today, I noticed it was beginning to coil around the tomato cage beside it. It seemed much more menacing. 

I decided to consult my friend, Google. I typed in "parasitic orange vine" and got back Cuscuta, otherwise known as Dodder. How cute! Dodder the orange noodle vine. I went on to read that the old folks refer to it by many names including but not limited to - Devil's Guts, Goldthread, Love Vine, Pull-down, Witch's Hair and my all time fave, Strangleweed. I went off on a mental metaphorical tangent then but rest assured, no one was harmed during the process. 

I went on to learn Dodder seeds can remain dormant in the soil for decades. When it sprouts, it emerges as one, thin yellowish thread. Dodder is yellow or orange in color due to the absence of chlorophyll. If unable to attach itself to a host plant within 5-10 days, it dies. However, it has amazing skills, even for a plant. It prefers host plants such as chrysanthemum, tomato, potato, clover, flax, petunia, impatiens. Studies have shown it detects the chemicals emitted as odors from it's preferred host plants. Basically, the damn thing can smell your tomatoes! Once it produces haustoria, finger like projections, it inserts itself into the vascular system of the plant. And once it's settled in, it breaks all attachment with the soil. It's all over after that. It doesn't necessarily kill the host, it just compromises it's productivity and quality of life. It quickly spreads to neighboring plants and will soon effect large parts of your garden. I went off on another metaphorical jaunt in my mind...

If allowed, it will flower and produce large quantities of minute seeds. The same seed that can lie dormant in the ground for sixty years. Thus completing the vicious cycle of Dodder, the orange noodle vine intent on choking out everything in it's path. I removed the mum and scraped all the newest reaching tendrils from the tomato cage. I burned them. It all seemed so easy. I identified the problem and followed the recommendations for removal. Threat annihilated, right? 

We'll see what happens. If it works that easily, it will be a wonder. Because things never are as easy as they seem. Are they?

Global Warming Is Real

The pea patch wore my ass out. It was hot, sticky, itchy work and I hated every bit of it. Every bit. But dinner was excellent and my famous pasta salad was eaten up in a flash!

We are going to Callaway tomorrow. We are going to see the butterfly center.The high is expected to reach 98 degrees. The butterfly house is made of glass. It sounds like an evil experiment or a very bad idea to me.

I heard there is a corpse flower blooming at a botanical garden in California. If you don't know anything about them, they are fascinating! According to the fella at the botanical gardens, the flower is native to the rain forests of an island in western Indonesia. Though it is nicknamed the corpse flower because of its smell, its shape inspired its official name: Amorphophallus titanum, which roughly translates to "large, shapeless phallus."

You know how we love to reference the penis here at All This Trouble. I have no photographs of corpse flowers or phalluses to post so I'll just give you three little Calla Lilys. That's all I've got tonight.

Summer Haze

It's hot here, folks! It's thick and hazy just like the photos of Joe and the kids. So hot and humid, in fact, that my lens fogged resulting in those interesting pictures. The air is heavy enough to make one thick in the head. I'm not the only one who has noticed. But I try to remember that before long, we'll be cooped up inside lamenting the cold weather. So, I try to be as grateful as I can while I adjust the A/C.

Drumroll Please

Check out my sweet kohlrabi! This one is all jammed up against one of the tomato cages but it doesn't matter. It's still rockin' on. Rock on, kohlrabi! I read you are supposed to pick them when the bulb reaches 2 to 2 1/2 inches in diameter so last evening, I headed out there with my trusty measuring tape and a couple were just over 2 1/2 inches. So I plucked them. They smell somewhat like cabbage or even turnips. I plan to braise some tonight. Joe said it looks like an octopod and has already begged off from his kohlrabi eating obligation. Hey, that's more for me!

On the phallic front, the tomatoes don't plan on disappointing us either. Just look at that wee little guy! It even made my mom giggle and she doesn't take vegetables or penises lightly.

A Happy Tuesday to all of you!

Bragging Rights

Our garden is doing very well. We've harvested the last of the radishes. I just don't have much luck with white radishes but the red sparklers were excellent this year. I can't wait for fall and another planting of radishes. The lettuces and herbs are doing very well. As are the tomatoes. Unfortunately, we are still seeing the cucumbers and okra lag behind. The beans are catching up and the gourd vines and sunflowers are already huge!



The squash out back is about to be in full force. This is the first zucchini of the season. It's huge. I was washing it when Joe came home from work last night and he had lots of "What? You couldn't wait for me to get home?" jokes for me. But honestly, it was tiny just a few days ago! And not to continue in the same vein but do you think that yellow squash is a mutant or does it seem to be sporting a squash penis? All kidding aside, these guys are totally getting eaten tonight.

Don't think for one minute, I've forgotten about the Kohlrabi or the carrots. I'm just keeping those photos to myself for awhile. I can't give it all to you at once! 

*I could NOT let Ms. Moon outdo me with her beautiful butternut squash photo this morning.

 It made me jealous. I envied both her green thumb and her crystal clear photograph.

Ode To The Photo Essay, No. 2

We've had a busy week.

We witnessed some lizard love up close and personal on the back patio.

I wish you could see the color of the guy in the back. 

He was golden brown and it looked as if he was blushing.

Maybe he was. We were watching him get his lizard on.

We helped my mom move this Mother-in-law Tongue across her porch.

It was just the tiniest sprig in an arrangement sent to my grandmother's funeral.

That was sixteen years ago. And this isn't even half of it!

She tries to divide it every few years.

I want some of it next time.

You thought I was kidding about turning the commune into the compound?

I wasn't. These are some of the first posts set.

I have a special love and appreciation for fences.

And here is the big truck they use to do fence stuff.

It has a concrete thingy on the back we're all quite taken with.

Have you ever watched one of those things spin?

It's mesmerizing...

It's been windy and overcast and raining.

One afternoon, we found a clear moment to look at the new statue in town.

It's really cool and the camera phone doesn't do it justice.

The metal part is made up of birds and it spins in the breeze.

I tended the squash.

It's doing much better but I can't say the same for the okra.

I don't think the soil was warm enough and the okra is stalled.

We took the kids to our favorite local steakhouse. 

They were a bit solemn while waiting on the saddle.

But then Joe did lots of funny things...

And they loosened up nicely.

We took some nighttime photos of the Clematis vine because it was just too beautiful not to.

And last but not least, Crazy Aunt Shirley sent some neat binoculars in a leather case. 

They are lined in burgundy velvet and have a compass in the case, too!

Zoe likes to look for the moon with them.

This Radish Is For You

Please accept this bouquet of radishes as a token of my appreciation for all of the sweet compliments and well wishes on my last entry. I'm sure my internet friend, Bill, just loves how I've gone all "therapy" on my blog. Don't worry, Bill. I'll move on soon to something else you're just as uninterested in. I promise.

And to the internet friend who has invited me for a little visit this summer, I would like to say, "No need to worry about me axe murdering you in your sleep. I'll just wash you down with a glass of milk in the middle of the night!"

HA! You guys know that's funny.
I'd rather laugh about it than cry. Which is how I like to handle most of life's obstacles.

And I would like to be able to give you the actual radishes but I ate them. They were awfully good, too.
nom nom nom

An Open Letter To Bambi

Dear Deer,

Damn it!

Stop eating my garden!

You made a sampler platter of the radishes and lettuces.

Didn't you get the message when we put up the fishing line barricades?

You decapitated the bell peppers and consumed the cucumbers.

Haven't you noticed the pie pans flying like saucers in the wind?

You nibbled more than the suckers from my Mr. Stripey tomato plant.

Have you no shame? Do you honor no boundaries?

You ate the Begonias, Petunias and Coneflower right down to the ground.

Stop before we are forced to turn The Commune into The Compound.

Gluttony is a sin. Even for Deer.

Stop while you still can.

You better give peace a chance.

(Shakes fist violently in air)

I'm warning you!



Sincerely,
ATT


P.S. Do you have some sort of alliance with The Bugs? What you haven't destroyed, they have. Who over there at Nature have I pissed off? I want to talk to someone!

Playing In The Dirt

I am very proud to announce the garden is underway. We planted it a week or so ago. It's not really all in one place but that's okay. We planted both yellow squash and zucchini around back where we had the cucumbers last year. It's a happy spot for cucumbers and squash.

The asparagus and Japanese eggplant are in the shorter raised bed. It was the mum bed but only two of them survived the winter this year. So out with the mums and in with the zinnia and columbine bulbs....and assorted veggies. I've no luck with asparagus. Just so you know now.

In the long raised bed, we have planted gobs of stuff. Lettuces, such as: Bibb, Romaine, Salad bowl, and Great Lakes are in there...along with carrots, radishes, leeks and ...

::drumroll:: 

Kohl Rabi!!!!

I know nothing of Kohl Rabi except how to eat it. Hopefully, it will do well and I will be the toast of my garden club, which mainly consists of the kids, myself and my folks. OH! We also planted Fernleaf dill, sage, marjoram, mint, oregano, chives and the parsley somehow managed to live all winter in a sheltered spot.

Now, onto the photos..

I'm not sure what this is. We broadcast the radish and lettuce seeds.

Then Zoe pulled up all the markers and ran off with them.

But whatever it is, it's tiny and green and there are billions of them.

Okay, maybe not billions.

What do you mean, you can't see them? Fine then. 

Here's another photo of a different area, if you aren't happy with the first.

Well, I admit it isn't much to look at now but it will be.

We just have to have patience.

It's a virtue.