Outwitting Squirrels: 101 Cunning Stratagems to Reduce Dramatically the Egregious Misappropriation of Seed from Your Birdfeeder by Squirrels by Bill Adler, Jr.
I can't tell you where I found this book. That's classified. But I will share some of it with you: Mr. Adler sums up his introduction to the book with these words. "Maybe there's a meaning to these anti-squirrel antics, and maybe not. But there is one essential fact to keep in mind when it comes to squirrels: we are smarter and stronger than squirrels. We can win against squirrels. We will win against squirrels." I hope Mr. Adler's right. I don't care for squirrels anymore. As a child, I was bitten by one while on vacation at Fort. Wilderness, Disney's campground in Orlando. It bit clean through the meaty part between my thumb and index finger. I haven't felt the same about them since.
Mr Adler obviously felt very strongly about squirrels. He self published and distributed this 169 page book at $8.95 through Independent Publishers Group. The blurb about the author in the back offers this: Bill Adler, Jr. is a writer and book packager living in Washington, D.C. Adler is the president of Washington Independent Writers. He is the author of over half a dozen books including The Wit and Wisdom of Wall Street (Dow-Jones Books, 1984), The Lottery Book (William Morrow and Company, 1986) and The Student's Memory Book (Doubleday, 1988.) He is currently writing a novel about scotch whiskey.
Now, Outwitting Squirrels was published in 1988. When I procured this book from anonymous sources, I shook my head back and forth, imagining this poor guy. Or poorer still, his wife (or husband) but it seems Mr. Adler has had some measure of success. Certainly more than I've had. And they seem to be running with this whole Outwitting series.
Hell, I think I'll apply to write Outwitting Constipation. What do you think?
5 comments:
Here's a tip for Outwitting Constipation. My daughter used to bleed when she did her business, but no more. It's all about getting enough fiber.
How about outwitting supidity? We could have used that during the GW Bush years.
I think you should give in to your inner squirrel. One lousy Disney squirrel and hating them all, oh the shame of it!
My Gramps had that book. I think he died shaking his fists at squirrels. We've got millions here and they are huge because college students think its fun to feed them hamburgers. THANKS college students! You're days here are but fleeting and few, but some of us live here with these college-cafeteria-fed rodents of unusual size.
Ms. Moon's comment made me laugh.
I'd like to outwit the damn birds. I hate birds. They just shit on everything. They are some nasty motherfuckers.
I hope the damn ornithologists don't flood my blog with nasty comments now. You can't trust people that think bird watching is fun times.
Love, SB.
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