Bad Mother

Yesterday, I could barely hold my head up. I was extraordinarily tired. I almost went home early but I didn't. Then, when I did get home, I fell asleep on the couch. Then my dad woke me up bringing the kids home. They're my kids so I expect them to come home but yesterday, I didn't want them to.

I settled them in the playroom with food and drink and TV and toys and went back to my sofa. I woke up moments later to them stampeding back and forth through the house. I asked them to stop. Then I yelled at them. Then they stopped and I went back to sleep. I could NOT stay awake and I was so nauseous when I did. Then Zoe was digging in my nose. I think I effectively slept through that but then Sam was running again. I stood up. I gave up. I sat back down. I went a little crazy.

At some point, Zoe started to call from the potty because she needed a dry pull-up. Sam threw something against something else in the playroom. I walked out there and yelled at him again. I told him to go to his room. He walked in front of me toward the hallway and I read him the riot act the entire time. Then, as if my very words picked him up and slammed him down, he tripped and hit his head on the door frame of the bathroom. And he hit it very hard. The next few minutes were just a blur of crying and hugging and rocking, on both our parts. Zoe wandered into the hall to help us and peed all over her legs in the process.

His forehead immediately turned blue and swelled. He's terrified of ice packs so there is really nothing to do when he hits his head. I offered him Tylenol but he refused. I apologized over and over but he just gave me that look. The look that tells you that things got pretty bad for a minute and someone should probably call DFACS. A few minutes later, Joe arrived home and came to our rescue. When we thought the crisis had passed, I went to bed. It was 7:30pm. I slept through the night but had disturbing dreams. I dreamt Sam was kidnapped. I fought and searched through the whole dream to rescue him and then when we finally found him, he was being cared for even better by them.

Guilt. I don't like it.

I woke him up by singing his special song this morning. I apologized again for speaking harshly and we made up. He gave me a big hug and showed me his "bad spot" on his head. It doesn't look so bad and he says it doesn't hurt unless he pokes it with his finger. I promised him we could make the Easter gingerbread house tonight. And he said that would be "just fine"...

I'm going to take his word for it.

Operation Cluster Fudge

My mom recommended we take the kids to the local speedway for an egg hunt sponsored by a local church. It was originally planned for Saturday but it was like a monsoon here yesterday. The big plan was to drop, I don't know, like 20 million eggs from the "Bunnycopter" and then the children would be loosed according to age group to pick them up. They were dropping plastic eggs full of candy and prizes.

Uh huh. Yep. I wondered that, too! How do you drop plastic eggs from the sky without them breaking apart and spilling their contents all over?

They rescheduled Operation Egg Drop for today at 4pm. They posted a big splashy ad in the paper and on their website. Come one, come all. So, against my better judgement, we went with my parents. They love to watch those babies hunt eggs, dontcha know! Well, we arrived a bit before 4pm only to be told after putting our contact info in the Lord's basket, it would be 5 pm before the Bunnycopter did the drop. It was sunny but venomously windy. We all went back to our vehicles. Sam stayed in the van with us and Zoe went with my parents to their car. Very cold out, but very warm in the van. I don't' deal with extreme temperature changes very well so I drifted off to sleep to escape misery. Sam woke me up every few minutes to tell me, "If you sleep now, you won't be able to sleep tonight." Sam doesn't know Mommy is on narcotics.

Finally, the time came. After the band finished a raucous churched up, comin' to Jesus version of "Gimme Three Steps", the Bunnycopter came into view. It was very windy. Narc'd up or not, helicopters on windy days make me nervous. However, I managed to get this spectacular video of "The Drop"...

(Pay no attention to that Jedi Lightsaber Beacon of Jesus to the right in the video. We were facing the sun and my camera sucks.)



Well, there you go. That's how it looked to us, too. The Bunnycopter was lame....And I'd say at least 75% of the eggs broke apart or disintegrated upon impact. This is what we could see on the ground in our age group's section...


Did I mention there were supposedly 20 million eggs dropped? If there was, there was 20 billion children waiting to pick them up. They hit the green light and the masses rushed forth for candy. When it was finished, Sam had one egg and two pieces of candy. Zoe had six eggs and one piece of candy. I think I'll call this photo: Disappointment Personified.


I say leave tradition alone. Some ideas are bad ideas. Like that time they did the "After Dark" hunt with flashlights at the fairgirounds. Rabbits don't lay eggs but they bring them for Easter. Helicopters dropping eggs? Whoever heard of such a thing? Sam was a pretty good sport, though. He looked at the candy and said, "Hey! It's the kind we like!"

*Note: I took liberties with the number of eggs and number of children at the hunt. There probably wasn't 20 million or billion of anything or anyone. But you get the point.*

Sunday Sharing: Combined Art

Sam and Zoe love to paint with watercolors. Not long ago, Sam brought one of his paintings to me and said he wanted me to draw the picture in it. I asked what he wanted and he said, "I want a kitty cat but that's not what's there." And he was right. It was not a kitty cat but a car flipping over a crocodile. So I outlined it with a black ink pen.


Now we stay on the lookout for pictures in our paintings. Here is a little dog with a gimpy leg. Sometimes, they help me with my renderings and we take a little artistic license.


This is my favorite. It's a lot like watching for bunny rabbit clouds or anarchy symbols in the sky.


Joe thought a whole series would be fun. I think so, too!
Why don't you try some of your own?

How It's All Gone Down So Far

It's been very wet here. I've felt weighted down. Someone suggested it could be the narcotics. Could be, I guess. And the drizzling rain...

Yesterday, we were slated to take Sam and his little girlfriend to see Monsters vs. Aliens but it was sold out. Sam had a highly emotional day and had to nap for awhile. Joe was weird, too. Snappy with cabin fever and an intense gaze that burns through to your very soul.

I went to Wal-Mart while the kids were napping. I spent $68 on groceries and diapers and felt shortchanged. Diapers are just too expensive. Zoe is doing her part to potty train though. I can't blame her. I ran into mom and dad while there and she helped me find bias tape for my pillowcase dress. My brain is so mushy. I can't figure out how to cut the pattern. OR how to position it on the fabric to cut it from the instructions I have. I can find more descriptive How To's but they aren't for the particular style I like. Anyway, I bought pins. I can use them for acupuncture if this sewing thing doesn't work out.

Then...when I tried to leave Wal-Mart, my battery was dead. Clickitty click. I called my folks. They'd already gone on to KFC for their special blend of herbs and spices. Dad said he'd come give me a jump. In the meantime, a church lady decided to help me out. I sat in my van while she hooked her cables up but when I cranked up, her battery began to smoke. That's bad. That means she didn't know what she was doing. When I made sure she hadn't blown up her own vehicle, I sent her along her merry way and to the first date she'd had in eleven years, by her admission. Then a man who was dark and brooding and very handsome pulled in and had me jumped off in no time. I called my parents back and told them to enjoy their chicken.

I came home and baked pot pies AND mac and cheese. I needed comfort food. I also served a nice green salad to balance out the carbs. Joe bathed the ninnies while I cleaned up and then we put them to bed. I took my medicine and professed my undying love to Joe while I lay I bed and he played around with Garage Band on the computer. I drifted off peacefully and we woke up in the same manner.

Joe headed out to the golf course with his dad so I'm playing the gold widow today. The kids have been sweet though and we'll soon be making our Easter themed gingerbread house. After nap we're taking them to an egg hunt. At least it's not raining today. Rain rain...go away... until I feel emotionally ready for you.

Thank you for reading these random things. I'll do better next time.

Man-sized

I am coming up man-sized today.
Set it light and set it free.

Big School

Last Friday, Sam was chosen in the lottery drawing to attend state funded Pre-K at the school where I work. Employee's children are not guaranteed placement so we had to enter the lottery. I couldn't believe we were one of the families chosen! I'm so excited right now. I wonder how he and I will adjust to having the other so close by, all day long. I wonder how long it will take him to embarrass and shame me deeply?

TMI Thursday: Litter Robot

Well, I've seen it all. Or as Christy's gramma said, So we've come to this...(or something like that) My BFF and her daughter both managed to break up with their boyfriends and inherit said ex-boyfriends cats in the process. I know....it's weird. Nevertheless, she is now the proud owner of four, count them, four cats. They're quite a crew. And they poop a lot. My friends isn't good with poop. Neither is her daughter. Four cat's worth of poop is just too much.

Drastic times call for drastic measures. While sitting on my couch a couple of weeks ago, she said she'd ordered a Litter Robot. I sort of shrugged. Who cares, right? Mechanical litter boxes are just silly and poorly crafted and we all know they blow up two days after the warranty expires. Then she told me it was a mind-blowing $300. Are you F-ing kidding me? That's what I thought but then she went on to compare it to sliced bread. She piqued my interest. I'll give her that.

Happily for them, the gadget arrived soon after and I just received the report. All four are taking advantage of it's special brand of elimination features. She said it looks like a space ship but I think it looks more like a diving helmet or maybe even one of those industrial hair dryers at the retro salon. Here's a little demo video in case you're having trouble figuring out it's mechanisms.



Now. Isn't that something?

Pillhead: The Saga Continues

Melody called me around 5:30 last night. She said she was surprised I was coherent. I confessed to taking only some Advil after work. When you have small children running about, losing consciousness or control of your bladder is NOT the thing to do. I told her I planned to wait until Joe was there before I popped any serious pillage. Oh and then I went off on this Anna Nicole Smith tangent about how sad I think it is that in this day and time, the whole world will just stand back and watch someone crash and burn like that...and laugh at them...you know? Melody just let me go on with it. I think she said, "Mmmmm hmmmm" a couple of times until I became distracted by something shiny in the sink.

I took the pills around 7:30 and managed to enjoy doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. Was this what The Rolling Stones were talking about in "Mother's Little Helper"? It was great and I only put the orange juice in the microwave once! Around 8:30 we put the kids to bed and I prepared clothes, lunches and such for the next morning without any pain. I cruised the Internet for awhile then lit my candle by my bed. It helps me focus and wind down. Joe joined me in the bed around 11:30 and rubbed some medicated cream on my back. At least, that's what he told me he was doing...

I feel 75% better this morning. I believe the steroids are going to do the trick! And you know, those happy pills don't hurt either...

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I went to the Orthopedist today. He told me some things I liked and some things I didn't. My x-rays showed no bony malformations or fractures. He examined me and announced I more than likely have Sciatica. That explains my pain and the tingling sensation in my buttocks and legs that alternates between numbness (which is kind of cool) and searing hot poker of death (which is kind of NOT cool). He suggested steroids, muscle relaxers and pain pills. I told him that sounded good to me. He hopes my pain is resolved when I return in one week. I hope so too. And if not? I get to have an MRI. And it may show a bulging disc pressing on a nerve. I hate it when things get on my nerves!

But right now...all is well. Pills are funny, aren't they? People say, "Oh, I don't want to take anything that makes me wonky" but I say bring it on! Just call me Anna Nicole Jr. and help me to my easy chair. Now, where's my remote? What do you mean I don't watch TV? Okay, fine...bring me more pills!

ZZZzzzzzzzzz

How does a four year old prepare for a T-ball game scheduled for 6:30 pm?



This is how Sam does it. Needless to say, he was not a very productive member of his team Monday night. He managed to stay upright and tantrum free throughout the game which is more than I can say for some of the other parents. I'll take a zombie ball player over a screaming ninny any day.

You Love Me...You Really Love Me!

Today, I received my first blog award. I've seen them around. I thought they were pretty silly. I did, that is, until I got one. Kim bestowed this award on me today. I'm humbled. I really am.

Now, I must share seven things I love with you:

- I love my husband. He is my soulmate.

- I love bullet points.

- I love words and books and stories and sayings and ideas. I love them all whether I agree with them or not.

- I love to hear my children laugh. A big, hearty belly laugh from one of them cures all ails.

- I love the wonders of science and nature.

- I love art. I love making it and looking at it.

- I love music. I have a playlist on my blog because music is ever present in our lives. It's a current flowing through all of us.

Now, I am to award seven other bloggers. Well, I'm not good at picking one over another. I don't know many bloggers either. So I will direct you to my links list over there and you can see for yourself.

Again. Thank you. And goodnight.

Back To Basics

As you may already know, I threw my back out Friday evening. We returned from Logan's Day Out and I went down to my parent's to pick up the little ones. We put their coats and shoes on and as we stepped onto the back porch, Sam announced he was going to the van to "get buckled up." Zoe followed suit and walked off the porch toward the van, too. Mom asked me to wait while she retrieved Zoe's bedtime medicine for me. Two minutes passed. Mom came back with the medicine and handed it to me. We said our goodbyes and I walked toward the van.

I could see Sam was already buckled into his seat. I couldn't see Zoe anywhere. She wasn't in the van or anywhere in the yard that I could see. I called for her and began scanning the wood line and the yard and the driveway and the storage building and the porches and.....when I couldn't find her, I became frantic. I ran back to the door and called for my parents to help me look. Any other time of day, it wouldn't have seemed so urgent but it was nightfall and getting darker by the second. We searched for ten minutes. We called and called and called to no avail. Dad said we may need to go ahead and call the police. Seriously, we were all scared to death. Even Sam had begun to cry. I was afraid she'd gone into the woods. She's not afraid of them but I am. There is a creek not far from their house and my mind had already ventured there. At the very moment I pulled my phone out of my pocket, I saw a small movement on their front porch. It was a little girl, lying flat on her face, partially obscured under a table and a bench.

Fueled by an immense adrenaline rush, I ran up the steps and told her to get up. She wouldn't because she knew she was in BIG TROUBLE. So I leaned over and picked her little butt up off the floor and spatted her bottom as I carried her back down the steps. She said, "Ouch!", but that was the understatement of the century. I realized I'd made a terrible mistake involving my own body mechanics when I reached the bottom step. My back felt like a column of fire.

And it still does.

Logan's Day Out

On Friday, we took Logan to Atlantic Station. He was with us for his Spring break this past week and I wanted to do something fun for his birthday. He won't be twelve until April 7th but this was the only opportunity we would have. He'd expressed interest in the Bodies exhibit when it was in Atlanta in 2006 but I felt he was too young to appreciate it back then. It's back in town along with a new attraction called "Dialog In The Dark". I decided it would be about as much excitement as any 'almost' twelve year old's parents could stand.


The Bodies exhibit was stunning. I only wish the collection was more extensive. We humans always want more don't we?


Dialog In The Dark is a new interactive exhibit housed along with Bodies.


"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." - Helen Keller


Visually impaired guides lead visitors through a series of pitch black galleries created to replicate everyday experiences. Without familiar sight clues, visitors learn to “see” in a completely new way with their non-visual senses. Our guide was named Marshall. He lost his sight at age 30 to Macular Degeneration. He was a character! He led us through a park, grocery store, pier, boat ride and a city street. It was fantastic! Our group was small; it consisted of the three of us and three other young ladies. Logan did very well and was even able to identify the kind of cheese in the freezer section. Joe banged the bejeezus out of his shin. He also groped my boobs a lot. He swears he only touched mine, though.

All in all, it was money well spent and we had a very good time. I highly recommend a day trip to Atlantic Station if you get a chance.

Back Boo Boo

My back is OUT. I am writhing in agony as I type this. Today is the opening day for T-ball. It's also the day we take Logan back to Louisiana. After the game, I'm getting souped up on pain pills and Valium and we're hitting the road. Do not be alarmed. I won't be driving. I'll be writhing in agony AND high.

More to come on Sunday evening.
If I don't die before then.

Got Game?

We met Sam's team at the ball field for photos this evening. He looked very handsome in his uniform or costume, as he calls it. He has a big crush on the daughter of a co-worker of mine. We've gotten them together in the past to play but until T-ball, they've shown no interest in one another. That's all changed now. They are inseparable on the field and move together as one unit.

We took them to a restaurant that serves roasted peanuts after our very first ball practice. They sat together at the end of the table and Sam shelled peanuts and fed them to her all through dinner. At bedtime, he professed his love for her. I asked him how he knew he loved her and he replied, "I love her because she eats all of my nuts." How do you argue with a statement like that?

We had dinner with them again tonight. Half way through, I noticed he was leaning over against her and seemed to be breathing into her ear. I told him to straighten up.

Sam: But I want to kiss her!

Me: You can't kiss her now.

Sam: Why not?

Me: It's too early.

Sam: Will you tell me when I can kiss her?

Me: I sure will.

Bathtub Boogie

"Boogie"

TMI Thursday: Coitus Interrupted

When we met, Joe and I were both fresh out of long term relationships. Neither of those relationships were particularly sexually rewarding and we were ready to get it on like never before. We didn't intend to fall in love with one another. But you can only do It with wild and reckless abandon for so long before it takes an emotional toll on you and you begin to believe you could spend the rest of your life like that.

We lived together for about a year and a half before we married. It was really all my Baptist parents could stomach. And we knew we weren't getting any younger so we decided to tie the knot and make a baby. Everyone teased us about how marriage would put a stop to our Hot Lovin' sessions. You see, we had a reputation for getting busy in fitting rooms and against vehicles parked in driveways and in backrooms at parties. What can I say? We were on fire.

I once told Joe, in the heat of the moment, I could swim in a pool of semen without getting pregnant. I've been known to say some real classy things. Because it took three years to conceive Logan with my ex-husband, I believed it was true. It wasn't. We married in January and we were pregnant with Sam the very next month. We were surprised again when Sam was ten months old by my pregnancy with Zoe. I learned the hard way; all semen is NOT created equal.

Now almost seven years after we started, I must admit things have changed. The focus of our life together has shifted from our own needs to our children's. We don't have the time to mix it up like we did in the early days. But we still want to and we talk about it quite a bit. And every once in awhile we find the opportunity for Hot Lovin'....

One of those opportunities presented itself a couple of weeks ago. We woke up feeling frisky. It was still dark out. It was very early and the kids usually don't wake up until daybreak. We locked the door and proceeded with caution. After a time, we threw caution to the wind and jumped in with both feet. It was good stuff, people. It was reminiscent of the old days. And we were barrelling to the finish line when we heard a little voice calling, "Daaaaaaaaaddyyyyyy, Maaaaaammmaaaaa....come wipe meeeeeeeeeeee....." Obviously, we were not the only ones who woke up feeling moved.

Well, we didn't stop. We left our little guy hovering over his business while we finished ours. It's not like we left him there forever but... later that evening, I felt a bit of guilt and I asked if the interruption ruined it for Joe. He confessed easily that it didn't bother him a bit. I told him that it derailed my big finish. He grinned and told me that was my problem. And then we laughed...and then Sam laughed....and then Zoe laughed...

I've learned so many things from Joe and the kids over the last few years. The most important thing they've taught me is love and the ability to laugh can take the edge off of almost anything life has to throw at you. It will, at least until you can find the next stolen moment.

Sunday Sharing: Charger Horse

Through Melody's Eyes

Melody came over and tried to photograph my children to break in her new camera. She realized almost immediately that my kids stay very busy doing the funky chicken and vibrating and that any real hope she had of posing them was a lost cause. So she went with it and this is some of what she got.

I think she captured their essence beautifully.
I've dubbed her our family's new personal photographer.

The Good Ol' "Big Head" Days

A couple of people have emailed and expressed an interest in seeing early footage of the kids. Another reader is interested in the sound of my voice or better yet, my accent! Well, here's a couple of vids highlighting not only my accent but the kid's "Big Round Head" phase, too.

Halter, Dress Or Pillowcase

Certainly, you've seen pillowcase dresses somewhere by now. They're usually abundant at craft shows and specialty shops. I love the idea and I've always wanted to make some for Zoe. The one pictured below reminds me of a Hermes scarf.


I was cleaning out my closet yesterday and I stumbled upon a halter I bought to give to our niece ages ago. It's so pretty and gauzy. I'd wear it if I were skinny but I'm not skinny. Anyway, it struck me how similar it was to a pillowcase dress. On a whim, I tried it on Zoe and the only alteration needed is hemming up the armholes. I pinned them for the picture but Mom is going to help me with her "new" 1948 sewing machine. She's never been able to sew on a machine either but she has been whipping things out right and left since inheriting this particular machine from Crazy Aunt Shirley.



I hope it turns out. Paired with a little sweater, it will make such a pretty Easter dress for her!

Hit Or Miss But Orange Through And Through

I love this cookbook. The ex-husband did his part and smoked enough Marlboros to get me this cookbook. It's one of the two nice things he did for me.


It has a section for cooking with what you might have on hand. I had some carrots that needed cooking so I turned to this recipe and decided to give it a whirl. I've prepared many of these recipes and each one is better than the last.


It's one of my favorite cookbooks. The recipes are awesome but the photographs and design are a true feast for the eyes.


Well, here are the very orange carrot cookies displayed on a very orange tablecloth.


Carrot cookies are not like carrot cake.
They are very, very bad.

No Place Like Home

We just made it home from a one thousand mile trip to and from Louisiana. We left at 6am and now it's almost after midnight. I'm beyond tired and my back hurts. Why would I do such a thing, you might ask. We did it for my number one guy, Logan. It will be so nice to have him with us for the next week!

But I cannot tell a lie. It will be tragic to make the trip again next weekend.

Getting Small

The next time I feel big and important, I am going to study these images and get small.






Ultra deep field infrared hubble view of countless 'entire' glaxies billions of lightyears away.


This is a closeup of one of the darkest regions of the photo above.

TMI Thursday: Life Cycle Library Vs. Playboy

When I was ten years old, I crawled up into our attic to see what I could see. My parents were on the back of our property cutting firewood and I was looking for an adventure that did not include working. As soon as I got up there, I spotted a large paper grocery bag. It was bursting at the seams, it was so full of something. The bag had a black piece of plastic taped over the top to obscure the contents from view. I removed the plastic and peered inside. I have no idea what I hoped to find but boy, oh boy what I did find.

It was a huge collection of girlie magazines and I don't mean Cosmo or Vogue. I can't begin to tell you what I thought and how I felt when I cracked the first one. All I can say is, Whoa. I sat there for awhile sifting through a few and picked a few that looked promising. Then I packed the bag up just as I'd found it, scurried down the attic steps and promptly hid them in my mom's magazine rack. It was full of old Better Homes and Gardens and Southern Living magazines. She never looked at them. She never even approached them. I knew it was much safer than hiding them in my room.

So for the next few months, which consisted of Summer break from school, I studied this new material. I read the Forum and ALL the articles and poured over the pictures like my life depended on it. From time to time, I'd ask my parents about something specific only to be told, "You're not ready to know those things." I guess it never dawned on them to ask where I got these questions. I'd ask my mom about tampons and condoms and lubricant and pregnancy but she was locked up tight as a drum. She refused to tell me anything.

Finally, after more than a year of sneaking into the attic to swap old subject matter for new, my mom broke down and told me about my period. But that was it. Nothing more. Exactly one week from the day we had that talk, I started for the first time at school. I was eleven years old and she seemed horrified when she came to pick me up. She took me home and handed me this boxed set of books called The Life Cycle Library. I still have them up on my bookshelf. One of the volumes was called 'When A Girl Becomes A Woman' and that's where I started.

I found this handy dandy Parents guide book for FAQ inside the box set. I followed my mom around for days asking her if she'd like to scan it in case I had a question. She would tell me to look up my question and then read the answer. She said there was no reason to involve her. I decided to start cross-referencing the material in the books my mom had given me with the Playboys and Hustlers I found in the attic. I told myself I was conducting important research. Unfortunately, my intensive ongoing research coincided with my mom's impulsive need to clean out her rack of old magazines.

She found them and found me out. They didn't say anything at first. They watched me and they watched as magazines rotated from the rack to my room and back. When they'd gathered enough evidence, they confiscated the magazines and I found them, along with the grocery bag, in the middle of the dinner table one night. I don't know that I've ever been more panic stricken as I was that night. They sat me down and asked me why I did it. I told them I wanted to learn. They told me there was nothing to know and when I was old enough, it would come naturally. But the damage was done. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt there was plenty to know and I felt like I was already doing what came naturally. I then turned the tables and asked if it was so bad, why it was in the attic? I was told the bag was a gift from a friend of my Dad's. You know how nothing ever belongs to anyone? Yeah, they used that excuse. Then they told me to stop thinking about sex and go rake some leaves in the yard before nightfall.

I wonder which was more detrimental to my burgeoning sexuality: those dirty magazines or my parents skewed sense of adequate sex education.

What My Porch Has To Offer

Our front porch and back patio are small but the view can be tremendous.

Mean Girl: Day Two On Steroids

The steroids have made Zoe aggressive and volatile. We tried to play I Spy Bingo yesterday but she was unable to contain her anger and rage. She screamed and pointed her finger at us. She hurled the cards and accusations. Then she crossed her arms and stomped off to wreak havoc in her room.

Sam dutifully picked up all of the pieces after her outburst. He looked at me and said, "That girl's got a mean streak in her." I nodded in agreement.

Liquid Grey

: Drumroll :

Here it is, folks! Zoe's new $76.47 (alleged) super antihistamine. It is not, as my friend suggested, liquid gold. It is, however, thick like clabbered milk. It wants to smell like grape and it's pretending to be purple in color but...


: Anti-climax :

It's grey.

Say Ahhhhhhhhh...

Yesterday, I took Zoe to the specialist about her tonsils. Have I mentioned she freaks out when she sees the doctor? Well, she does. So he did everything he had to do to her while I held her. Have you ever held a rabid lion on top of your head while someone tried to paint it's toenails? Me either but I imagine it's easier than taking Zoe to the doctor. When all was said and done, the good doctor and I were both in fetal postions. Zoe, on the other hand, was no worse for the wear and enjoyed the sticker and lollipop presented by the nurse.

The doctor said she had enormous tonsils for a child her age and he suggested we try to shrink them before doing anything else. That will allow her to breathe easier and sleep better even if it doesn't cure the problem for the long haul. He prescribed a steroid for six days and a antihistamine/decongestant at bedtime for a month. When we return, he'll do an x-ray (Do you know any good wrestlers to subdue her?) and determine whether she'll need surgery. Hopefully, she won't but he said it's possible it will be needed.

The big shocker was the price of the medicine. The steroids were only $8 with our insurance. The antihistamine was another story. First, they didn't have it in stock but would order it if I would only sign something like a promissory note. Then they explained why. It's $76 for 6 oz. and that's just the co-pay. Wowser! But what else could I do? She has to have it so I signed on the dotted line.

Zoe's tonsils have cost us a grand total of $174 in seven days. I just continue to tell myself it could always be much worse.

Feel The Burn

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The trees and flowers are sending out tender green shoots.

However, I am still covered with the same old blubber.

Sunday Sharing: Reviving Roky

A few weeks ago, we watched a documentary on Roky Erickson, the lead singer for the 13th Floor Elevators. This is the trailer.


This is a performance before Roky fully slid into drug abuse and schizophrenia. What a voice!


After watching the movie, I wondered if they were ever able to help him. If he was ever stabilized on his medication. Whether he'd ever play music again. This is a recent clip from the 40 Watt in Atlanta.


Go, Roky!

Family Fun

We took the kids to the ball field for a little T-Ball practice today. I did not want to go. I told Joe I had to clean out the refrigerator. I reminded him Logan will be home for his Spring break a week from today. I told him I wasn't in the mood. He didn't care what I said. He made that clear by handing me the keys and asking me to drive. So I did. And it was kind of like giving in to sex when you'd really rather not. It wasn't half bad and I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy it so much. Zoe sat in the dirt with her back turned to home plate the whole time. She was hit by the ball only once! We all have a nice dose of sun on our noses and cheeks.

When we tired of T-Ball, we walked just down the street to the little park. I'm really glad we found this place. It's our little secret. And from the photo, you can tell they love the fire engine.

It's So Beautiful. Let's Kill It.

Yep.
You guessed it.
Sam spotted my little gift from the Universe.
He plucked it right away and ran in to present it to me.
Wasn't that sweet?

Tiny Suprise

I love it when the Universe sends me flowers...





This little Pansy was tucked into the cracks on the patio when I arose this morning.

Spin And Spin

Friendship's End

Earlier today, I ended a friendship of seven years. I place no blame but will accept some of it. I am very sad but resigned to my decision. I am also relieved. I believe it to be the best for all involved.

I wondered whether it was appropriate to post this on my blog but I would be lying if I said this hasn't affected me deeply. My blog has become a sort of journal and this is my story, my life. So here it is, inappropriate or not.

I hope to learn something from this experience. I hope it will help me become a better person and a better friend. I hope it will strengthen the bond I have with my family. I hope it won't hurt for long.

T & A

Zoe had a fever of 102 today. She managed to eat a cup of applesauce and a few saltine crackers. She's had very little fluid. I called the Dr's office. They said I could bring her back in to test for Flu. They tested for Strep on Monday but not Flu. I'll bid farewell to $60 in co-pays this week. See, the thing is, they thought it was viral on Monday. The flu is a virus. What good will it do to know now? None. But I'm taking her anyway. She usually talks us to death and she has been silent this evening. I'm afraid she'll become dehydrated if I wait.

The appointment with the ENT and more co-pays are scheduled for Monday. I want them to look in there and know immediately what the problem and solution is. I want her back in full force!

TMI Thursday: Googling

I have a new obsession.
Something that really makes me feel warm inside.

I enjoy watching the real time portion of the Feedjit. It tells you how someone came to the blog. I haven't had anything too weird on mine. The last search I can remember was "Holy Name T Ball" and that's pretty lame.

But a lot of my blog friends have this Feedjit thing, too and because their subject matter is more risque, they get some really good stuff. For example:


Young nubile girls sleeping
18 Inches Of Mayhem In The Jungle Part 1
slingshot poop
Mucous oozing from my toe
Can a girl get "pragnent" from gorilla semen? (my personal favorite)


Yeah, I love it. And honestly, it makes me feel much better about myself all the way around.

Ode To The Photo Essay, No. 1

Last night, my dreams were fraught with anxiety and nervous tension. We were running from somewhere and rushing somewhere else. We were leaving something behind.
Then morning broke into a brand new day. Where the skies were almost too blue to bear.





I desperately needed to laugh so she clowned around with me until I did.
I've really grown to love her wispy, uneven curls.





Today, Sam added the blue guy on the bottom to my "Sam's Man" drawings. I wonder why they all appear to be ominously pointing?
Is it a warning?